Why We Eat More When We Fall In Love
A therapist’s take on “relationship weight” and why it happens
You might have seen my recent feature with BBC Good Food about why so many people relax their eating habits or gain weight when they fall in love. If you missed it, you can read it here:
It is a topic I see often in therapy. Two people meet. They feel that early spark. Routines change. Regular gym nights turn into dinners out. Evenings that used to be structured slip into long talks, shared food and time on the sofa. Before they know it, their body feels different and they panic that something is wrong.
Here is the truth. Most early relationship weight gain has nothing to do with lack of discipline. It is usually a sign of emotional safety, bonding and the natural shift that happens when your life expands to include someone new.
The real reasons love changes how we eat
1. Love rewires your routine
Falling in love pulls you into a new rhythm. You want to spend time together. You share meals. You stay up talking. You reach for foods that fit the moment rather than the plan. It is not self sabotage. It is the brain prioritising connection.
2. The reward system lights up
The honeymoon phase boosts dopamine. Food, pleasure and romance all run through the same reward pathway. When they overlap, indulgence feels easy and natural. Your brain is pairing the person with warmth and reward. It is bonding, not loss of control.
3. Emotional safety softens habits
Once someone feels accepted, they stop performing. The pressure to present a perfect version of themselves drops. In therapy, clients often say they feel more authentic once the relationship settles. When safety rises, rigid routines fall.
4. Attachment styles show up in small ways
Your attachment pattern can influence how you eat around someone you like.
• Secure types settle into shared habits easily.
• Anxious types may linger over meals because it feels like connection.
• Avoidant types may keep their own routines until trust grows.
These patterns are subtle but powerful.
5. Food becomes part of the love story
Shared plates. Takeaways. Trying each other’s favourite snacks. Cooking together for the first time. Food becomes a way of building memories. Eating together signals closeness, so it is no surprise that habits shift.
Do you need to worry about relationship weight gain
In most cases, no. Small changes in weight during the early stages of a relationship are a normal response to comfort and new routine. It becomes a concern only when someone feels disconnected from themselves or uses food to cope with deeper emotional needs that are not being voiced.
How to stay mindful without falling into guilt
Here are simple, gentle ways to keep balance:
• Cook at home sometimes
• Plan one active date a week
• Keep alcohol intentional rather than automatic
• Talk about what helps you both feel well in your bodies
• Stay curious about your habits instead of judging them
The healthiest relationships focus on how you feel, not what you weigh. Love and wellbeing can sit together when you approach them with care rather than fear.
Read the full BBC Good Food feature
If you’d like to explore this topic in more detail, you can read the full article here:
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/heavier-ever-after-why-we-eat-more-in-new-relationships